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Hypnosis Training Video #367: Secret Language of Feelings – Part One, the Story Behind the Book (Transcription)

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Cal: Hello, everybody. Cal Banyan here, back with you again on Cal Banyan’s “Hypnosis, Etc.” And, once again, joined with my fabulous co-host Brenda Titus.

Let me tell you, if you’re watching this video anywhere except… or listening to the audio anywhere except, you’ve got to go there right now, because right below this video on is additional text, additional links, additional graphics, that just make all of these videos a lot more valuable to you.

All right. Well, let me tell you about Brenda. Brenda has… she’s so gracious to be my co-host. It’s not the easiest thing in the world. All of our co-hosts have been given the assignment to go out and find topics and things of interest to you. And they go out, and they go to the groups, the different online groups, and the different Facebook things that are going on, just to kind of harvest what people are wondering about in the world of hypnotism. Not only is she very gracious and sharing, she comes from the world of talk therapy. She has a bachelor’s degree and a master’s degree, and she’s just all out a helpful person. How are you doing, Brenda?

Brenda: I’m doing great, Cal. Thank you so much for having me today. And I am thrilled to be here today, here at the Banyan Hypnosis Center. I love working here, working and helping build this profession by coming here and assisting with the podcast. So thank you so much for having me.

And I’m thrilled to introduce you all to Cal Banyan, who is the head of the Banyan Hypnosis center here in Tustin, California. He brought us 5-PATH®  hypnotherapy, a great system for working with our clients to really help them bring about the change that they want very quickly, as well as the 7th Path Self-hypnosis® system, which is a mind/body/spirit self-hypnosis system that is very beautiful, and goes along very nicely with 5-PATH® hypnotherapy.

And then, Cal brought us also the secret language of feelings, which is where we are headed today. I really wanted to talk about the secret language of feelings over the next few weeks, because I just think it’s such a valuable tool for us as hypnotherapists to have in our toolbox.

Cal: Wow. Is that… so that’s what we’re going to talk about today?

Brenda: It is. It is.

Cal: We could talk about that for two or three episodes.

Brenda: I know. Well, we are going to.

Cal: Oh.

Brenda: Because I really felt like I just wanted to kind of touch on a few nuggets here and there for the next few weeks, and really talk about this. Because I just think that it’s such an incredible tool to be able to use with our clients. And I really… I don’t think it’s… I think it’s been a while since we talked about it here on the podcast,      and so I thought this is something that I use every single day, more than anything else, is the secret language of feelings, and how I incorporate it into 5-PATH®. And so I kind of picked a different topic over the next few weeks to really tackle a little bit deeper on secret language of feelings.

Cal: Very good. Hey, before we get into that topic, can we do a little bit of hypno news?

Brenda: Absolutely.

Cal: Because, you know, then the hypno news won’t be topical anymore.

Brenda: Absolutely.

Cal: All right. Hey, so did you see the article in… what was that?  In USA Today about hypnosis being a viable thing for changing behavior and habits?

Brenda: I did. I saw it just during my lunch, right before we came in to record. And I made sure to share it on Facebook, and really let people know to start spreading the word about it. I thought it was really nice how it was put together, and something just easy to share.

Cal: You know, one of the things when… it just shows that… in this article, first of all, it’s in USA Today, very mainstream. Second, and you know what, you and I, we could market our butts off, and it would never amount to the third-party validation that comes out when a news organization like USA Today says something like this. And then they use medical professionals to back up what they’re saying. Isn’t that nice?

Brenda: It helps a lot. I definitely start getting referrals. It starts really legitimizing what   we do out there in the public.

Cal: Right. So I’ll put a link down below so people can go read that article for themselves. It’s all good. I don’t want to rob too much time from our topic today. But it’s something topical, and we’ll try to put something topical the next couple of… since we’ll be talking about the secret language of feelings. Throw some hypnosis topical stuff in in the next two or three episodes.

All right. Take it away.

Brenda: Excellent. Well, over the holidays, recently, Cal had put a question on the “Hypnosis, Etc.” podcast Facebook page. And he had asked, “What book did you read that has had the most effect on how you do hypnosis today?” And there were a few different responses, but definitely a couple of us did respond about “The Secret Language of Feelings.” And while it is not a hypnosis book, it is also, because it gives people that language about feelings that was why so many of us actually responded.

And so one woman, Karen, she responded, “There’s no doubt in my mind, “The Secret Language of Feelings.'” And she said, “I’ve read lots and lots of other interesting books about mind and soul, but ‘The Secret Language of Feelings’ is absolutely and without comparison, the book which has the greatest and most profound impact on my approach and actual technique in which I do hypnosis. It’s very hands-on, and deals with feelings in a rational way.”

And I thought… then I got really inspired in thinking about that. And of course I   added that I’ve seen so many of my clients that, just from day one, developing that language about feelings by being exposed to this book and the techniques that I use from the book in my sessions, as well as some of the things that I send home with them to use. And of course the homework that’s kind of in the book as well. So I really wanted to be able to talk about that.

Because, as everybody knows, I’m a 5-PATH® hypnotherapist. That’s what I do.   And so, I’m an age regression, affect bridge hypnotherapist. And so it’s really important that from minute one, I’ve got people talking about their feelings. And I had somebody recently who, she was crying within, you know, five minutes of opening up and sharing with me. I wasn’t even doing hypnosis. And she said, “I’m so sorry.” And I said, “No, this is good. I want you to cry. Please feel those feelings. Because that’s my, you know, job. That’s my specialty.”

And so Cal, I wanted to just kind of… as we begin today, talk with that introduction. Today’s kind of an introduction. So maybe you can share with us a little bit about where this whole idea of writing the book “The Secret Language of Feelings” came from.

Cal: You know, this is… it’s a funny thing. But there was a time in my professional development where I was seeing clients, clients, clients, clients. I mean just so             many clients. And when you’re immersed in the work like that, things can begin to congeal, and you see trends and that kind of thing. And, particularly in age regression.

Now, my background is… I think, as some of you know, I have a bachelor’s degree and a master’s degree in psychology. I’m all but dissertation for a PhD in clinical psychology. So I certainly have a psychological bent to how I look at all this stuff. And in all the different schools of psychology, probably what I related to most is cognitive, or behavioral cognitive, or cognitive behavioral kind of slant.

So as I was watching this over and over again, particularly doing affect bridge age regression, because that’s what I was doing at the time… nowadays I’d be doing time tunneling technique. But I would see that there is always this emotion that’s causing the problem. I mean, when it’s not just a habit, and something you can change with direct suggestion hypnosis, or just willpower, but when something just keeps going. Eating too much, drinking too much, all these “too much” behaviors. Working too much. Which is such a big part of why clients come in to see us.

It was real obvious that there was this emotional component. And there’s three emotions that we work with over and over again that just drive these behaviors. And it is fear, anger, and guilt. And as one of the things we do with age regression is not only do we bring up a feeling, not only do we follow it back to different events that happen, but we’re doing the informed child technique. Once we find the initial sensitizing event, we’re going to do informed child technique.

And in the informed child technique, I decided that what I needed to do at every             event, SSE or ISE, I needed to find out what they’re thinking, what they’re feeling. Of course, how old they are, if the feeling is familiar or new, because there’s this connection between thinking and feeling.

And as I was doing this over and over again, I started seeing that there was… that really, the sessions were speaking to me. There was this meta message that was coming to me in bits and pieces in all these sessions that I was doing. And I had       learned the secret language of feelings from my clients. This is not something I learned in college or graduate school, or some kind of certification course. It was a theme that I saw over and over again as the clients went from being… having a problem into being free from it.

And what it is, is there’s a feeling inside of us that’s causing pain. And unfortunately, rather than learn how to understand our feelings and respond to them in a satisfying way, we’ve been told to ignore them, to deny them, to distract ourselves from them, and hence the feel bad/distract cycle begins.

And, so this is our… the book, “The Secret Language of Feelings,” that Brenda’s talking about. Now, I recommend you get the book. But, you know, it’s going to cost you some books. You can get it as an ebook on You can get it as a physical book. All of our grads get this book, all of our students, because it’s that important. Not just in doing the work with clients, but in your everyday life.

But, what I want you to do right after this video is go to Now, I have a shortcut for you. I’ll put a link right below. I’ve got some free audios on there that really go into more detail than we can in a 15-minute podcast.

So as I was seeing all of these sessions, and I’m seeing the emotional nature of the issues that people were having, and then doing the informed child technique,            I find out what resolves it, you know? What resolves fear. What resolves anger. What resolves guilt. And these other, you know, top 10 emotions.

And so what I found out was each one of these emotions is trying to tell you something. It is a kind of wisdom that we’ve been taught to ignore. But once we start listening to the wisdom of anger… anger is trying to tell you something. Frustration is wisdom. It’s trying to tell you to do something. Sadness is wisdom. It’s trying to tell you to do something.

Now, I’m a spiritual guy, and I believe it was a wiser consciousness than you have or I have that wired each and every human being to feel sad when they lose someone or something. To feel fearful when their security is threatened. To feel frustrated when what they’re doing isn’t working, and so on. So when you begin to instead of deny, distract, ignore your feelings, and instead say, “What is this feeling communicating to me? What is the wisdom in this feeling? What is this feeling or emotion trying to tell me to do?” And wow, everything changes.

For example, most weight loss programs take you from… they take you from whatever you’re doing into a state of deprivation. Feel deprived. Well, now I can’t eat. Now I can’t snack. Now I can’t have my ice cream. And that’s what happens in your mind.

But, with the secret language of feelings, and we’re doing weight loss, or stop smoking, or whatever it is, they don’t go into a state of deprivation, because we teach them the secret language of feelings as part of what we do with our clients. And now instead, when they feel that feeling that they used to respond to by eating, they can say to themselves, “What am I feeling? What’s the cause of this feeling? What is this feeling trying to tell me to do?”

Because the truth is, if you’re feeling sad, or mad, or frustrated, or angry, or guilty, or whatever it is, there’s nothing in that refrigerator, nothing in the cupboard, nothing you can shoot in your arm, suck up your nose, or swallow that could possibly do anything about what’s causing you to feel that way. So as soon as you’re done doing this distracting behavior — eating too much, drinking too much, smoking too much, working too much, exercising too much, whatever it is – then you immediately go back from the distracted state back into the painful          emotional state.

Does that help, Brenda?

Brenda: That is perfect. And you have just set up this whole series exactly the way that I wanted to. I really want everybody to be looking further into the secret language of feelings over the next few episodes. Now that we’ve gotten some of the background, you know, Cal talks about, and he talked about earlier, the wisdom of those feelings. They are there for a reason. And we learned to stuff them away. We learned to hide them away. But did we really? No.

So we’re going to be talking over the next couple of weeks about the wisdom of various feelings and what they’re there to help us do. We’re going to talk about how we can work with the secret language of feelings, especially when Cal talked about that feel bad/distract behavior. So especially we’re going to focus on some weight loss, smoking, drinking too much behavior types of things over the next couple of weeks.

And then we are also going to spend an episode talking about some questions… I call them “Digging Deeper with Cal.” He called them something else. So we’re going to do some special tricks and tips to really work with the secret language of feelings. But I wanted to start this week off, give some introduction, give some other places that everybody could look and research. I give this book to almost every single client that walks in my door, and then I say, “Please read this, and then have your spouse read it, have your kids read it. Start working with this not just here in hypnosis, but with your family.” And I really just think that the more      that we can give a language to our feelings, and understand that all of our feelings are good, and how we can work with them, it’s going to make such an amazing difference.

And so I’m looking forward to the next few episodes with Cal and with all of you, to share some extra tips to really work with the secret language of feelings in your hypnosis practice.

Cal: Cool.

Brenda: That’s what I have to share today, Cal.

Cal: Hey, you know, so what we’re going to do… we introduced it today, and in the next video, we’re going to talk maybe in general, like how people can use it to help themselves. And then we’re going to move into how this absolutely transforms your sessions, and how it makes you a more powerful age regression hypnotist, 5-PATHer, 7th Path Self-hypnosis® teacher. How it changes everything. How does that sound?

Brenda: Exactly. I’m excited.

Cal: Okay, wrap it up.

Brenda: All right. Well, I am Brenda Titus. Thank you so much everybody for watching    today. I can be reached at And we will see you all         next week as we continue to explore the secret language of feelings and how it can help you in your hypnosis practice.

Cal: All right. Thank you, Brenda. Hey, everybody, one quick little very, very important thing. Remember that National Guild of Hypnotists Solid Gold Weekend — I’m reading it because I want to get the dates right — is coming up, February 15th through the 16th. All the details are on the NGH website, I’ve got a couple more trainings coming up. I just finished the certification course. It was a blast. And looking forward to doing it again. Oh, and I just got asked to do a two-day age regression certification workshop at the National Guild of Hypnotists convention in August.

So we’re, like, totally plugged in, getting things done, transforming the profession. Thanks for being here. That’s it. Cal Banyan signing off.

Copyright 2014 Calvin D. Banyan . All rights reserved.

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