Main Menu
Print Friendly

Hypnosis Training Video #359: How to Best Help Hypnotherapy Clients Who Want You to “Fix” All Their Issues in One Session, and How to Get “Lazy” Clients to Do More Work During their Sessions (Transcription)

Return to Blog Post, Hypnosis Training Video #359: How to Best Help Hypnotherapy Clients Who Want You to “Fix” All Their Issues in One Session, and How to Get “Lazy” Clients to Do More Work During their Sessions

Cal: Hello, everybody. Cal Banyan here. Cal Banyan’s Hypnosis, Etc. If you’re watching this video anywhere except CalBanyan.com, you want to go there right now, watch it there. Because on CalBanyan.com, we have additional text, links, graphics, that make all of these podcasts, all these hypnosis training videos, more valuable to you. Plus, did you know we have over 350 videos there? It’s like a veritable encyclopedia of hypnosis.

As a matter of fact, I want to recommend that you become a VIP member. Just go up there and it’ll say “Become a VIP Member.” And you know what we’ll do is we will send you a link that takes you to a page that has the title of every single podcast we’ve ever done and each one of those titles is a link to the podcast.

So you know what you can do? You click on that, and you can just watch whatever you want; be it about working with children, working with sports, doing age regression work, doing all kinds of different things. Building your business. It is just awesome.

Boy, I wish this website existed back when I was getting started, or when I was first growing my hypnosis practice.

All right. I’m so excited. I have Meredith back here once again. She is a hypno one percenter, which means the best of the best. She has a hypnosis practice in Los Angeles. She is a great person. She really knows what she’s doing, as she’s evidenced in her 120 plus videos she’s done with me. And she has a master’s degree in psychology. She was a talk therapist before she joined the world of hypnosis.

How are you doing, Meredith?

Meredith: I am doing so good. Yeah, Cal, I think this is actually… technically it’s 124, this one, but it’s actually 125, because what you guys don’t know is, in all of these videos, there is…

Cal: Don’t tell them that.

Meredith: Oh.

Cal: Because then they’ll beg to see it.

Meredith: They can’t. It’s wrong.

Cal: See, you can’t…

Meredith: In all these videos, I made Cal scrap one. What you guys don’t know is we really don’t edit these videos at all. They’re just pretty much what you see is what you get, what we did. So the cat is out of the bag, Cal.

Cal: So what are you saying, exactly?

Meredith: That you will never see that video. That’s what I’m saying.

Cal: You know, I think you totally overreacted, and we should put that up.

Meredith: You know, it was actually a very simple mistake. I simply called one of our phases in five path the wrong phase. But it was so irritating that it was called the wrong thing that I couldn’t bear that being on the internet, so…

Cal: Well, we could just put a little lettering underneath that says, “Oops, Meredith meant this.” Hey, folks, if you want us to publish that video…

Meredith: I think I called “forgiveness of self” “forgiveness of others” accidentally.

Cal: Okay, that’s all right. Let’s see if we can get some responses.

Meredith: No, no, no.

Cal: You folks out there that want to see that video, you need to leave a comment down below, and you need to talk Meredith into letting it out. And this is what we’ll do. We’ll just put in print here, it says, “Oops, Meredith meant” whatever you meant. How is that?

Meredith: I think I mostly liked that I got to boss Cal around. That’s what I really liked.

So I want to make sure you guys know who Cal is. Cal is the creator of Five Path, the one-on-one process I use with all my clients. He’s the one that brought us Seven Path self-hypnosis that I teach practically all my clients. He’s the author of many, many books. He’s the reason we do these free training videos. He’s the one that trains the best in the profession, and he believes so much in training that every single week, he puts out another one of these free training videos for you guys.

And what kind of blows my mind is how few people actually submit questions, because we are willing to answer everything and anything. That’s why it’s “Hypnosis, Etc.” Or “Hypnosis, Etc.,” whichever way your camera is flipped. We are willing to answer your questions. Cal is the reason that we do this week in and week out. Thank you so much, Cal, for everything you do for the profession.

Cal: Oh, you’re welcome. Gosh. I guess we should just do a really good job this time.

Meredith: Yes.

Cal: All right. What’ve you got for me?

Meredith: Well, you know what? I do have kind of an array of different questions from people. And this first one is kind of a basic, but it’s one of the things that comes up a lot for people, especially new grads, so it’s worth covering.

And this particular person has a new client coming in with a lot of issues. One of those laundry lists. All kinds of fears of different things. So a long list of different fears, stress, no self-confidence. That’s just a small sampling, basically, of what this client has going on. And this particular hypnotist is wondering where to start. So Cal, would you like to talk about that?

Cal: This is easy. And done right, it works out perfectly. So your client comes in. They have a laundry list. “I want to work on this, I want to work on this, I want to work on this.” In their mind, unfortunately, sometimes they think one session, you’re going to fix every problem in their life. They’ve spent… maybe they’re 30 years old, 20 years old, 50 years old, whatever it is. They’ve had this problem for decades, and they think you’re going to wave the magic hypno-wand and fix everything in their life in one, two, or three sessions.

And gosh, I wish we could do that. And if I did, I’d have a line of people all the way down to Mexico trying to have sessions with me, the hypno-wand waver. Okay?

Now, so you need to talk to them and do a little bit of a reality check. And say, basically, you need to one issue at a time. Then it becomes, well, what issue is that? And I simply ask them this question. I say, “What is the one issue on your list that when we’re done, and we’ve successfully got you through that issue, it’s now behind you, which one would have the most positive effect on your life?” That’s where we begin.

Now, you take that laundry list, and you write it in their file, and you tell them, once we’ve got that done, then we’ll do this again with the list and find out what’s the next most important thing. And I’ll suggest that we’re going to do that faster because of the work we’ve already done on the first issue. I mean, chances are we’ll get through it faster. We won’t have to do the preparation, testing, and convincing phase, because they’ve already been prepared, convinced, and tested. We know they’re going into deep hypnosis.

And then we can just help them methodically go through that list. And what happens is they become a really great resource for clients in the future, because when you make a huge difference in someone’s life like that, other people notice. Don’t you think, Meredith?

Meredith: Yes, absolutely.

Cal: So we want to add something to that?

Meredith: Yeah, for sure. I thought you had more to say there, the way you said that.

Yeah, absolutely. I feel like what happens with clients is they finally get up the nerve to come in and get some help, and it’s like, oh my gosh, this is going to be so hard, I might as well get it all fixed now. My being is going to be in the shop. My body’s going to be in the shop. Let’s get it all done.

Which is efficient, it’s great, but you’re absolutely going to have to really focus on one thing at a time. And what does happen is sometimes you do actually knock off some of those other things on the list, right? But you definitely don’t want to give them any idea that you’re going to be able to do it all at once.

And so I’m very clear with my clients. It’s possible that we will get to a few of those things in a single process, but we’re going to focus on one thing at a time. We’re not going to muddy the waters for most success. We’re going to focus on the primary thing that’ll affect the biggest change for you in your life right now, and then we’ll just see how it goes. And we’ll reassess after that.

And a secondary process will be much shorter than a primary process. So if you still have things on the list, and if they’re still important to you to resolve, happy to get to those things after. And we should be able to do that in two, three sessions.

So that’s the way I represent that to my clients. Anything else you want to add about that, Cal?

Cal: While you were talking, I wrote up a graphic.

Meredith: Oh, wonderful.

Cal: This is a graphic I use in class. And you’ll notice that I have these circles. There’s four circles, and then there’s one circle in the middle of the four circles that are there. And so what happens is this might be issue number one, issue number two, issue number three, and issue number four.

Now, let’s say that issue number one was the most important issue. That’s why we called it issue number one. Now, as we do that, it takes us back to the cause. Now, see I’m drawing an arrow to this circle that’s in the middle.

Now, here is where some magic happens, and why subsequent issues don’t take as long, typically, as the first issue. So as we go in here, we go to the cause that is sometimes generating other issues. For example, like, let’s say this is a fear that’s inside of them from years and years ago. And it’s generating this anxiety. Like public speaking.

Well, that fear may also be generating eating too much behavior. It may also be causing problems with not doing well in their sport because they’re anxious. They’re not really into the game. And then there’s another issue over here.

So when we get rid of this one issue, we just get rid of it, we get rid of it by getting rid of the cause, see? We get rid of the cause, and then what happens is it weakens or eliminates issue number two, three, and four. So just a little bit of work, sometimes, will help us move from these other issues very quickly.

Now, there may be another issue that’s on their list here and here. We’ll call them issue five and issue six. Those may not be related to the same issue that is causing one, two, three, and four. So they will have their own cause. And I’ll just draw a circle down here and have… this’ll be like cause number two. And those are bringing in… that secondary cause is causing issue numbers five and six.

So, to recap, we go for the priority. Issue number one. As we do that, we neutralize the cause. This weakens some of the other things on their list, like issue number two, three, and four. Now, if there’s other issues, like five and six, something that’s not related to the cause, they still exist, but when we go to get that work done… for example, we go to number five and we neutralize the cause of number five, which also weakens number six or eliminates it completely. Then we can easily knock off five and six after that.

So think about not just… you know, like the dentist doesn’t just fix one tooth. If he did, or she did, a good job, she’s going to be around to help you with your dental hygiene for the rest of your life. And so you should think of your clients as somebody that you may be working with for a long, long time. And then when you do that, you’re making these changes.

Then you start seeing their mother, father, sister, brother, cousin, boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, and colleague at work. And it just… when you do good work like this, it really makes a big difference to your practice. What do you think, Meredith?

Meredith: I agree completely. But I think that it’s important to note that if you ever do… either you know this, and you’re looking at the list yourself, or you tell the client about how this kind of can work, with the same root cause, and it could potentially knock out several of the things on the list. It’s important to recognize that it’s not always logical or linear.

And there are some clients who will hear that from you and then go, “Oh, well, they’re all related, for sure.” And come to that conclusion. And I’ve heard other hypnotists come to a conclusion about, yeah, all of these are clearly related to the same root cause. And I think when you make up your mind like that without actually doing the work and letting the work show you the truth, it can get you into trouble. Because in my experience, it’s not always logical, and it’s not always linear, and it’s sometimes the strange things that don’t seem connected at all that get wiped out by one root cause, and other things that seemed related that have a separate root cause.

So just don’t come to a conclusion, is my point.

Cal: Don’t come to conclusions ahead of time, right?

Meredith: Exactly.

Cal: Let the client reveal, as you take them through the process of 5-PATH, or as they’re going through 7-Path, and you’re doing the 7-Path teacher facilitation work with them, so that you can… it really is a dance, right? You’re constantly working, and the work is evolving as you work with the client, right?

Meredith: Exactly.

Cal: Exactly. Good. Are we done with that?

Meredith: We’re done with that.

So in five path, we have these different phases. Age regression is phase two, and forgiveness of others is phase three, and forgiveness of self is phase four. And then, if you require it, phase five is the parts mediation therapy.

And this particular hypnotist wants to know, what do you do with clients who just don’t seem to want to do the informing work, their part, basically, in these different phases? Some just seem to want to lay back and let me do all the work. I’m okay with helping with the informed child technique, and age regression, or helping with the forgiveness of others, and kind of doing some coaching. But ultimately, don’t they have to do the work? What do you do in these cases?

Cal: You know, that reminds me of working with children. And when you work with children, one of the things that is an issue is that… for example, you’re doing age regression work. You cannot… a big part of age regression work is insight, right? To be able to do insight work. And you have the adult interact with the child. But if the client is a child, they don’t have that much insight, and you’ve got to then work with the child and provide some of the insight.

Now, that’s what you have to do with a child. But as an adult, you have all of that knowledge and wisdom. And I would really constantly coach the client to be more forthcoming with that kind of insight work. I would sometimes say… I would offer what I think what might be the right insight, and I’d say, “What do you think?” Talking to the adult aspect of the client, if we were doing age regression work. And I’d offer some insights. But they’ve got to decide.

And also, between sessions, I would talk to them about this. You know, really, I don’t have all the answers for you. You have the answers. You know the players in your history infinitely more than I do. You know your thoughts, feelings, on the different events that happened in your life much better than I do, and how they affected you. So it’s really important for you to step up and begin to offer that kind of input as we do this, because the work we do is insight-oriented.

That’s what makes it so powerful. 5-PATH and 7-Path are insight techniques. Because with insight… see, with just regular direct suggestion, you know, “You are now confident. You are now confident. You are now confident.” Or, “You are now a non-smoker. Going to be a non-smoker for the rest of your life. You are now a non-smoker. Going to be a non-smoker for the rest of your life.”

You know what? That’s not as powerful as when you do the insight work, where it’s, a-ha. Now they know something that they didn’t know before. Or they recognized some truth about themselves or their past that they hadn’t recognized before. That caused a shift in the subconscious mind that dissolves erroneous beliefs that have been generating erroneously based emotions. And then we can get the truth of the matter in there, which gets rid of these erroneously based emotions like fear and sadness, anger and guilt, which are taken care of in age regression, forgiveness of others, forgiveness of self work. Okay?

How’s that? Do you think that helps a little bit?

Meredith: Yeah. So are you saying to coach the client in hypnosis, or out of hypnosis, or both?

Cal: Yes. Both.

Meredith: Both. Yeah.

Cal: Now, when you first discover the issue while you’re working with them in hypnosis, right? So I would then coach and cajole and encourage and offer insights. But really, they have to step up and say, yeah, that insight really seems to fit. And then we say, well, what else is going on?

And they really need to watch some videos of age regression work. I mean, find… or whatever kind of work you’re doing. Age regression work, forgiveness work, parts work, whatever it is. Find the masters, people that you say, “I wish I could do what they do.” Watch the videos over and over again, and you will see that, to some degree, most clients do this. But it’s not a big issue like you’re talking about. But all clients do that to some degree because they’re uncertain about what they’re going to do. How does the hypnotist guide the client into participating more and providing more insight?

How’s that, Meredith?

Meredith: Good. Yeah, I mean, when I’m doing especially age regression, and really any of the phases, I’m really in tune with my client. And there are some clients who don’t require a lot of informing from their grown-up in order to defuse and shift the perceptions to be able to defuse the emotions. So some of them kind of get it very quickly.

And others, you can tell the grown-up is just being kind of cold, and distant, and harsh, and simplistic, and not really trying. And it’ll be something along the lines of, “You’ll be fine,” will be all that they’ll say to their little one. And I’m sorry, but when you’ve been really upset and really scared, has anybody ever said, “Oh, you’ll be fine,” and has that immediately resolved it for you? Often, you need a little more than that.

So it’s important to kind of be with the client and really tune in to what it seems like the client requires. And don’t force them to go overboard if really they’re informing their child appropriately and adequately, considering the situation and all of that. But sometimes they definitely are short-changing themselves, and that’s where you’ll want to say, look, inside of you are the words that that little one needs to hear so she can feel safe and secure and comfortable. You have a chance to make a difference in her life. What is it that you wish somebody had said to you back then?

And really encourage them. Be that coach. Be that guide, helping them to tap into those words. And if they really seem to be struggling, sometimes they just need a little suggestion, because they don’t really know what to do, just like Cal was talking about. Just like a child. Maybe they just don’t have the words. Maybe they don’t really know what to say. Maybe they still think that situation is horrible and they still think they’re in danger.

So it’s important to kind of feel it out, and find out what the hold-up is. And don’t be afraid to do that both in the hypnosis and afterwards.

Cal: Yeah. You know, as I’m writing notes, that’s why my head’s turned, how do you get clients to do more of something? My first article, I think, ever, for the National Guild of Hypnotists’ Journal of Hypnotism, was entitled “Praise: The Secret to Success.” And if you can get them to do just a little of what you want, praise them for it. “Beautiful,” I’d say. “That was great. Wow, that’s really going to help.” And then that helps build their confidence, and encourages them, and they will want to do more.

All right. I think we’ve got to wrap it up.

Meredith: We do. We’re out of time. So next podcast, we’re going to get into some age regression questions. Juicy age regression. This is Meredith Locher. Thank you so much for submitting your questions. All of that, you can send them directly to me, Meredith@YourPathHypnosis.com, or post them right down there on CalBanyan.com. Hopefully you’re watching it here, because we create all kinds of links for you and give you extra information that helps you.

But I’m really appreciating you, and I look forward to connecting with you further in the future. Meredith Locher, signing off.

Cal: Awesome, Meredith. Looking forward to the next podcast. Hey, all you folks out there. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen to us talk about these important topics in the world of hypnosis. And please, help us share the wealth. Tell people. Right above here on the video are ways to share it. If you push that button, you know what happens? It goes to Facebook, or it goes to Twitter, or it goes to Google Plus. Help us to get the word out. We so appreciate it.

And also, I want to see you in class. We’ve got classes coming up. And you know we always have early registration discounts, so don’t wait till the last minute. And we’ve got a class in January, we’ve got a class in July, and we have a class in October. We also have the Week of Power, which is for you folks who are already certified, you just want to get this 5-PATH, 7-Path certification. Step up your ability to do the work, become hypno one percenters. And that is May 4th through May 10th. And it’s all here in beautiful sunny California.

All right, that’s it. Cal Banyan, signing off.

Copyright 2013 Calvin D. Banyan . All rights reserved.

Return to Blog Post, Hypnosis Training Video #359: How to Best Help Hypnotherapy Clients Who Want You to “Fix” All Their Issues in One Session, and How to Get “Lazy” Clients to Do More Work During their Sessions