Cal: Hello everybody. Cal Banyan here. Cal Banyan’s Hypnosis, etc. And I’m back once again with Brenda Titus. She’s got a question or two to fire at me. And where do they come from? They come from you folks. Some of you are posting them on Google+ or you’re posting them on calbanyan.com, right here, or on Facebook.com/hypnosisetc. We want to hear your questions, your comments, and your topic ideas.
Brenda Titus, I’ll tell you what, I have so much gratitude for my co-hosts, be it someone who has been in the profession for a while like Celeste Hackett, or Meredith Locher, or the brand new ones like Brenda, and the brand, brand new one, Erika Flint. It’s just so great to have these different perspectives, different backgrounds to mirror my information that I hand out to you, and add to it in a way that really makes sense no matter where you are in the profession.
Brenda is well-educated in working with people. She’s got a Bachelor’s degree in Sociology. She’s got a Master’s degree in Criminology. She’s worked as a rape crisis intervention worker. And then she came over to the hypnosis side of things. And she’s been going full speed ever since. She even spoke at the convention. How’s that for your first year or so in the profession, speaking at the convention? Kudos also to Erika who did the same thing. How are you doing, Brenda?
Brenda: I am doing great, Cal. Yes, I’m thrilled to be here and very fortunate and blessed to just be able to do so much, so quickly in this profession. And that is largely because I started out with great training here at the Banyan Hypnosis Center. And I’ve really actually been able to take advantage of excellent opportunities between, you know, watching these videos, participating in these videos, all of the just great opportunities I’ve had. So thank you so much, Cal, for having me here and all of your support especially over the last couple of years.
So let me tell you all a little bit about Cal before I keep talking about what a great trainer he is and all of that stuff. Cal has almost 400 videos out here on the Internet. Ongoing training videos to help everyone out there be the best of the best in this profession. He’s a trainer. He teaches 5-PATH® Hypnotherapy, 7th Path Self-Hypnosis®. He developed those systems and they are just phenomenal in being able to really help your clients.
Cal is also truly an authority in hypnosis that works. Especially thanks to the books that he has written on hypnosis, hypnotherapy, as well as “The Secret Language of Feelings.” He’s out there actually doing a lot of work these days, training people in age regression. And I hear that he had an excellent two-day Age Regression Certification at the convention. Excellent opportunity to just, you know, really understand what an incredible process that is, and how much it can really help your clients.
And Cal is the trainer of some of the best and the best in the profession. And I’ve just been so thankful to be here for the last two years, learning and growing in this field from Cal and through my work with 5-PATH and 7th Path.
And so today, we are here to actually talk a little bit about client success. So I do have a couple of questions that have come in. Because, you know, like I said, I see this as a kind of a great opportunity to kind of have everybody briefly get a little bit of example of what it’s like to have Cal as a coach and a mentor. And so we come and we bring these questions to him so that we can get his feedback and input.
And so today…Cal, do you have anything to add before I hit you with this question?
Cal: Gosh, you know, one thing as you’re talking, I want to get out there is, teaching is learning. Isn’t that right?
Brenda: Absolutely. Actually I learned so much from preparing each time for this podcast. It helps me grow as well as well as obviously, every time I need to put myself out there publicly, I know that I’m making sure that I am growing, that I can stand up there and be, you know, comfortable and confident in the information that I have to share. So absolutely, actually.
Cal: Cool. All right. Fire away.
Brenda: Excellent. All right. So I have a question actually from an anonymous 5-PATH hypnotherapist.
Cal: Oh, good.
Brenda: I’m sorry?
Cal: Anonymous, that’s one of my favorite people.
Brenda: I know. I love my friend, Anonymous. So here is her question. She said, “I had a client who came to see me about one and a half years ago, and she was successful with her weight loss. She came back after an additional reinforcement session a few months later, and she was very happy with her progress. She says that she lost in excess of 18 pounds. But then,” as my friend Anonymous says, “the other night, she went to go to a local wine tasting event, and a former client was there.” And the client was there. She was standing near the door, and she was very happy to see the hypnotist. And she introduced the hypnotist to a friend that was standing nearby. And she told the friend, “Hey, this is my hypnotist that I saw for weight loss.” There wasn’t even a punctuation mark. She immediately said, “Well, but I gained all that weight back.” And you know, the hypnotist said that the client did look bigger.
So the hypnotist said, “Yikes!” And the client kind of said, “Hello.” and kind of laughed and walked away. So the hypnotist didn’t have any chance to respond. Felt awkward. And she says to the uninitiated, “It might look like the services weren’t a success because this client had gained back the weight.” So the client actually then continued on to say that she didn’t have money to come back for more sessions. She’d explained a little bit about what had happened, how she had lost control. But what my friend, Anonymous, had to say was she said, you know, that she knows other people who are at this event. This is a small community. She knows other people that were there. And now she’s concerned about how this might look to the friend who was there, and to other people who know this client who has gained back all of her weight.
So she asks for some suggestions about how to handle a situation like that. Cal?
Cal: Okay. So, you know, there is a lesson in this, not just for Anonymous, but for everybody. And that is, when you’re working with weight loss, it’s important that you make it very plain to the individuals that you’re working with that you don’t anticipate any problems that they’re probably just going to have great success in their life. But if they have a problem, call. That you know exactly what to do. Because that’s the big lesson in here.
The big lesson is, and this is true with all my clients, but particularly with weight loss. Because you see, there’s a multi-billion dollar machine out there that, you know, 24 hours a day, they’re trying to figure out how to get you to eat crappy food, processed food, too much food. I mean, they have a name for people like you and I. They call us “consumers,” you know.
Sometimes, working with the problem is like peeling the onion. And, you know, we find one cause of the weight gain, and another cause of the weight gain. And they do really good. They lose the weight. And between maybe an underlying issue that hasn’t been dealt with and this multi-billion dollar, maybe trillion dollar machine out there that’s constantly trying to program you through magazines, the Internet, the radio, television, billboards. You know, that’s saying, “Aren’t you hungry?” Or you know, “You should eat this new thing,” that a person can have trouble.
And you need to really make sure that they understand that the door is open. This is also why I teach all of my clients now self-hypnosis so that they can continue to reinforce the change, or work on anything else they want in the future.
So let that be a big lesson to all of our viewers, all of our listeners, all of our readers of this podcast. And then, you know, if that happened to me, there’s nothing I can really think of to say that wouldn’t sound self-serving or anything except to maybe say, you know, right there in front of him say…let’s say Anonymous’ name is Dorothy. Say, “Dorothy, you know, this sometimes happens. I’d be so happy to talk to you more about it and get you back in for sessions. This sometimes happens.”
And as you’re saying that to Anonymous, you’re also saying that to the group or whoever she said that to. That, you know, it’s no big deal. This sometimes happens. And I’d be so happy to talk with you further about this, get you back on track. There’s probably some little thing we haven’t addressed yet. So that’s how I would handle it. And I’m sure you’ve done some preparing for this question?
Brenda: Absolutely. And you know, it is a tricky thing, you know, especially when you’re in a small community. And I think weight loss, boy, weight loss and smoking are two classic things that, you know, people come to hypnosis, hypnotherapy for. However, it’s also the most publicly obvious if it made a difference or not, right?
Now, the key is that, what I know about 5-PATH is that, you know, the client’s there to lose the weight. But they’re also there to overcome the feelings and issues that are driving that behavior. So sometimes it can be less obvious. You know, if the person might gain the weight back, like in a situation like this, or they might start smoking again. It doesn’t mean that you weren’t successful in the work that you’re doing. It’s just that it’s more publicly obvious that it’s out there on the surface.
So it’s definitely a tricky thing when we’re talking about our ongoing success with our clients, you know, or more to the point, our clients’ ongoing success. Because in the end, you know Anonymous saw this client one and a half years ago, you know. And as Cal said, our culture, you know, unfortunately it’s not expected that people are almost anticipated to be on that yo-yo. You diet, you lose weight then you gain it back. You diet, you lose, you gain it, you know, and you’re on this cycle.
I would definitely be more interested in knowing, okay, what’s the driving feelings and causes behind this client. And, you know, I think especially just helping her, helping all of our clients know, you know, “Hey, if anything goes on, you need some help, you need some reinforcement, call me as soon as possible. Don’t let it get so far off.” So you’re kind of setting that up with your ongoing relationship with your client.
So, Cal, I really did appreciate that. And the tricky thing is, you know, like I said, when you’re out at events where other people might know you, and might be in the position of making referrals, we can only be responsible for what our client does after they are done seeing us, after they have completed their sessions, they’ve completed maybe their weight loss process, their ongoing work. Just like actually Anonymous said, it’s their free will. They have to decide on a daily basis what they are going to do to continue at that weight loss. It doesn’t mean that your sessions weren’t a success. It just means that that client has made some other changes in her life.
What do you think about that, Cal?
Cal: That’s very good. As I explain in the book “The Secret Language of Feelings,” what people do is they find a distractor. If something happened in their life, made them feel bad, and they’ve learned to manage that uncomfortable emotion through the act of distracting. Putting their mind on something else, using something pleasant like eating. Like nobody feels so bad that they have to go eat a head of lettuce. You know, they go eat something that makes them feel good. It might be the ice cream, or it might be cake, or it might be potato chips. Whatever it is, you see.
And in their lives, well, you go after and you find that problem and you get rid of that emotion. But guess what, over their life, other things that can come up that make them feel bad. And they know this strategy of feel bad distract. And so new things can come up that can make them feel bad. And then they go into the distracting type behavior. And so it’s important that, you know, all of my clients also get the book “The Secret Language of Feelings.” And they also watch a video of me talking about “The Secret Language of Feelings” so that they understand the cycle. In that way, we can be prophylactic about this. Care about it ahead of time so that these things don’t happen, or, if they do, that they’re ready to come right back in and work on it.
All right. Good. I think we covered that.
Brenda: Well, and I wanted to add actually one other thing that I think is valuable to consider in situations like this, is I will sometimes actually, when I’m working with my clients, especially after we’re getting through more of the maintenance level. They’re starting to get the process of what we’re doing.
As I do my age progression, I will insert in my age progression work, taking them into the future times that maybe are a challenge to them, so that they can practice going, experiencing the holidays but staying in control. Going on vacation and practice staying in control. I recently had a smoker and we did that age progression work as well. And I went through, okay, where are issues that you could see where you’d be tempted? And so then I’d walk him through that.
Now, I’ve had that backfire, too. So I will fully admit that I’ve taken somebody to age progression, and then I’ve seen, okay, I still need a little bit more work to do here. But I also definitely recommend, you know, your age progression work can be very valuable in preventing some of these things. Because then, your client is learning, oh, I can go on vacation and make different choices. I can experience the holidays and all of those temptations and I can make new choices. So that down the road, when they experience them, they’re going to follow through in having made the changes that they made during their session.
And what do you think about that, Cal? Does that sound like a good plan?
Cal: Sounds perfect. Well, that’s a really important tool for age regression is also age progression. Excellent work!
Brenda: Good. Good. Yeah. Because I think that that can really, you know, shore up any of those things. And I had it happen yesterday actually with a weight loss client, where I age-progressed her. And it wasn’t that far into the future. But it helped me understand better a temptation that I didn’t realize was there. And so now, I can actually go back and do some work on this issue. And it completely identified a whole new path to work with her on that I wouldn’t have realized, by taking her into the future. So I highly recommend that.
And the other part that I definitely wanted to address here, you know. Like we said, we only have so much control over what our client does in between sessions to make a difference in, you know, in really progressing in the work that we’re doing with them, just as much as we only have so much ability to, you know, have that power after they have left and, you know, what they decide to do.
So it’s really important for all of us as hypnotists to know, you know, evaluate yourself and the work that you are doing with your client every single session. What could I do differently? What could I do better? How is this going to play into their long-term success? So be thinking about that so you can bring it up even as you’re doing your work with them. So before you’ve ever released them from treatment, before you’ve ever, you know, stopped seeing them so that you’re, you know, really preparing them for anticipated long-term success.
But also remember, you are only one part of the dance, you know. Hypnosis is a dance. You’ve got two parties here. You’ve got the hypnotist and you’ve got the client. They also need to follow through, you know. Your system can work. You can, you know, do excellent work. But they also have to make a decision about if they’re really ready to follow through, and do the work that they are going to do to maintain that weight loss, to face temptation, to deal with their feelings in a healthy way. So don’t beat yourself up. You are giving your clients 100% every single day and know that. But also remember that you are only one part of the dance, and your client is the other part.
So I hope that my friend, Anonymous, I hope that we were able to answer that question for you, and address that. And for everybody else, also to be really be thinking about, you know, like I said, you know, as I’ve been preparing this, I think that working with age progression is another really great tip that maybe people hadn’t thought about before in quite that way. But to really test out their temptations so that you can really work with them, and know that once they face those temptations, they absolutely can do it.
So that’s all I have to share today. Anything you’d like to say before we wrap it up, Cal?
Cal: Nope. Wrap it up.
Brenda: Excellent. Well, thank you all for joining us today. We love your questions. I love your questions because they help me prepare for the podcast, so I can come and ask Cal the most relevant, the most, you know, up to date questions to really be able to help all of you out there. So, please, send your questions in. You can leave them down below. Both Erika and I keep an eye on the comments, and Cal does as well, you can leave them on the Facebook page.
And I look forward to being back next time to bring you more great topics. And thank you all for joining us today. This is me signing off. See you next time.
Cal: All right. Thank you very much, Brenda. And I’ve got a riddle for all of you out there. Brenda, don’t answer it. Everybody has to answer it in the comments below. How many clients does it take to change a light bulb? How many clients does it take to change a light bulb? Put your comments down below, down there.
And let’s see what’s happening. I will see you in class. We got a class coming up in October, October 13th through the 24th. I’ll tell you what. Whatever you’re hoping that class would be, it’s more. It’s going to be more than you hoped it would be. You’re going to be very busy. You’re going to learn so much. You’re head’s going to swell up a hat size. And we’re just going to really have a great time. When you get done, you’ll be well on your way to being a one-percenter, one of the best of the best in the profession.
All right. That’s it. Thanks again, Brenda. And here we go. Cal Banyan signing off.