The Positive Side of Feelings
The Secret Language of Feelings review by Judy Mcbride, CHt for “Your Health Magazine”
Left to simmer beneath the surface of your consciousness, these uncomfortable feelings will drive you to overeat or smoke or abuse alcohol or drugs or shop or gamble or indulge in some other unwanted behavior to take your mind off of how you feel. Trouble is, the distracting behavior only relieves the uncomfortable feeling for a short time. It doesn’t fulfill the need, want or desire behind that feeling. Soon, this leads to frustration, which compounds the bad feelings. And if the frustration continues long enough, you may eventually become depressed. That’s the psyche’s way of preventing you from going postal, according to Calvin D. Banyan in his book, The Secret Language of Feelings.
And your anger is motivation to rectify unfairness when possible. But what if the source of your anger is buried in the past, probably in your childhood, and there is no action you can take now to rectify the unfairness to you as a child? That’s when you let it go, recognizing that your old seething anger is only hurting you – physically, mentally and emotionally.
The trick is to recognize whether an uncomfortable feeling is a call to action or an old, buried emotion that keeps coming up for resolution. That’s where a therapist or hypnotherapist can be helpful. They can help you identify the feeling that is prompting an unwanted behavior and uncover the cause behind that feeling. If the cause is from a younger age, a regression hypnotherapist is especially skilled at helping you uncover the events and the perceptions about those events that trigger your current reactions. He or she can also help you see them in a new light – one that defuses the feeling.
Finally, the therapist or hypnotherapist can help you identify a satisfying response. Banyan lists eight primary feelings that motivate us to make a change. In addition to anger are guilt, boredom, sadness, loneliness, inadequacy, stress and fear. If you’re feeling guilty, have you been unfair to others? If bored, you need to grow through challenges. Sadness prompts you to keep or replace valued people and things, if possible, and loneliness spurs you to establish meaningful relationships. Inadequacy is a call for you to improve your self-image. Stress is a motivator to successfully manage your life. And fear – the underlying feeling for all uncomfortable feelings – prompts you to take action to feel safe.